One of the most stressful parts of planning a bachelorette party can be deciding who to invite. Just like with your wedding, it can be difficult to figure out. In my case, I had a hard time finding 6 women to attend my bachelorette party – let’s just say I don’t have a ton of female friends (another story for another blog). In other cases, women have too many friends and don’t want to leave anyone out. Then, there’s your family members and his.
Here’s how you can make creating the guest list less stressful:
- Keep this motto in mind: The more the merrier. As my husband says, “the more, the merrier” when it comes to bachelor and bachelorette parties. Of course, you don’t want to be over the top with like 20 people. But, I’d say anywhere from 6 to 12 will do the trick. Plus, it will drive the cost down for the group.
- Don’t worry about their different backgrounds. So you have a friend from college who’s a total liberal and your best friend since birth is a die-hard conservative. The last thing you need to worry about is the two getting along. When it comes to making the guest list, don’t worry about whether people will get along or not. If they’re truly your friend, then they’ll suck it up to make you happy. In most cases, they’ll have so much fun celebrating you that there won’t be time for drama.
- Try to keep in mind people’s budgets before you finalize the guest list. If you know you’re going to do a more extravagant trip, then make sure to let your friend in grad school know beforehand. Call them up and tell them like it is. If you wait until they’re already committed to spike the price, then they may not be able to afford it .
Remember: At the end of the day, it’s your last fling before the ring. Go where you want to go and people can either attend or not. Don’t cater your bachelorette party to your friends. Do what you want and have the time of your life!
- Stray away from people at the office. If you don’t want to tarnish your sterling reputation, then you’ll want to keep this party just between your friends. As the old saying goes, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Unless, they are your best friends, you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite them to the bachelorette party or the wedding.
Here’s some questions I originally had when planning my guest list…
Who should I invite?
Unfortunately for me, I don’t have a lot of friends. So this was one of the most stressful parts of planning. I ended up inviting two of my old friends from college (although only one was able to make it), a newer friend I had known for about two years, my sister-in-law and two of her friends. Just to be clear, they weren’t friends of hers who I had never met or hung out with. Since I was new to the area and my sister-in-law is the same age, she introduced me to some of her friends and we all hung out a lot over the course of two years. So, I felt comfortable asking her to extend the invite on my behalf which they happily accepted.
If you have my same problem and need to up the numbers (this helps if you’re trying to keep costs low), then you can:
– Ask family members (cousins, aunts, mothers, sisters, etc.)
-Ask HIS family members (cousins, sister-in-law, etc.)
– Friends of friends (preferably someone you’ve already met)
– Coworkers (be careful on this one because if you feel like getting wild it might make it’s way back around the office)
– Church members (same principle as the coworkers applies)
If you have the exact opposite problem and need to decrease the numbers, then you can leave out:
– Friends you haven’t talked to in months or you have grown apart
-Family members that aren’t down to party
Here’s some people you won’t want at your party:
- The Drama Queen. If you know a friend who always has to make it about them or loves drama, then don’t invite them. Quite honestly – why are you friends with them? This very same thing happened to me. There was this girl I had known for a few months that I thought would be fun to invite to the bachelorette party because she was just a barrel of laughs. But, I also realized she was full of drama and LOVED for everything to be about her. Sorry, but this is my time to shine! So, I didn’t extend an invite. Her feelings weren’t hurt and my party was fantastic! All in all, a huge win!
- The Flake. Everyone has one of these friends. You know the one who always makes plans and then goes MIA not even letting you know that the plans have been cancelled. Unfortunately, I have someone like this. She loves to do the Houdini disappearing act. There’s months where I’ll never even hear from her after I’ve sent like 20 messages. To me, I decided to move forward without her on this party. She never gave me a reply and I never said anything afterward.
- The Debbie Downer. Do you have that friend who’s always upset about something or nothing ever goes her way? Do NOT invite this person. I repeat. Do NOT invite this person. You’ll regret it in the end.
Do they have to attend my wedding?
No. We did a small wedding with only 20 guests and I didn’t have enough room to invite the girls from my bachelorette party. However, I let them know in advance so there were no hurt feelings. While they didn’t get invited, they still enjoyed celebrating my upcoming nuptials and completely understood why I couldn’t invite them. And if they’re truly your friends, then they’ll get it.
Do I have to invite his sister or close family members?
Depends. If you want to extend the olive branch, it could lead to a better family relationship in the future. If your soon-to-be-husband is impartial, then do what you want since he’s not going to be offended. My suggestion: invite them! I invited mine, but we’re also really good friends.
What if I’ve only known them for a few months?
It’s really up to you. If you feel like you’re that close, then go ahead and invite them. Sometimes you just know someone’s going to be a lifelong friend. So, take a chance. The worst they can do is say no or make up some excuse as to why they can’t attend.
Can I invite people who aren’t part of my wedding party?
Absolutely! There’s going to be friends of yours who’re close, but you just didn’t have enough room to add them to your wedding party. At least they get to be a part of your bachelorette party – which is way more fun!
This is your time to shine! Enjoy it and do what you want!